February is a month often associated with love. But what is love? Love is a life force all its own. Without it, we fail to thrive. We seek love from external sources, while also seeking validation and assignment of worth. From the moment we are born, it seems we are inundated with the idea that we need the love of another to complete us or make us feel like our lives have meaning. Society sends us messages through movies, ads and books about what love should be like. We look to others' relationships for cues on what we should aspire to have in our own lives. As we grow up and are continuously shaped and molded by these images and social constructs, we define for ourselves what love is and how we are going to feel once we find it.
Certainly love doesn't only show up in romantic relationships, we find it in other areas of our lives. Be it our families, a beautiful friendship, or our animal companions, love finds its way into our hearts. While all these relationships are valuable and should be celebrated, there is one relationship that often needs some extra nurturing. Our relationship with ourselves shapes every other relationship we will ever have. What if the greatest love affair of your life was with yourself?
We talk about self love and know of its importance, but what does it really mean? How do we show ourselves love and connect with our souls? For starters, self love needs to show up without conditions. If we equate success or achievements with love, we put ourselves in a losing position. If we say that we will feel better when we lose some weight, we are telling ourselves that our current state is unworthy of love. If we say that we will finally be successful when we get that promotion, we are telling ourselves that our current position is not of value. Finally, if we say that we will feel loved when we are in a romantic relationship, we are telling ourselves that we are not worthy of love on our own.
Loving without conditions is not easy. It requires a lot of healing and awareness of self. It involves getting intimate with the parts of ourselves that we keep in the shadows. What do we keep hidden away in the dark? Are we concealing shame, guilt, anger, fear, or other shadow elements? Do we view our bodies with disgust and tell them that they are not beautiful or worthy of love? Do we berate ourselves when we make a mistake? Imagine what could happen in our world if we all worked to fall back in love with ourselves. If we took the time to heal and nurture ourselves, consider the ripple effect that would have on everyone around us. Instead of projecting and wounding one another, we could come together and elevate humanity. Rather than seeking external validation that may never come, we could go within and deem ourselves worthy. If we could focus on the present and self acceptance, we could experience love in all its potential. When we live our lives in a future based state of mind and all the "what ifs," we rob ourselves of joy. We find ourselves always searching for that one thing we believe will make us happy and worthy of love. And in that very quest, we drift further and further away from self love.
So how do we begin? We begin by doing the inner work, by healing the parts of ourselves we view as unlovable. We examine our beliefs about ourselves, about love, and about self worth. We choose to strip away all the conditioning, all the limiting beliefs, everything that no longer serves us. We remember that we are souls born of unconditional love. In this remembrance, we reclaim our birthright and tear down all the walls we once built to house our shadow aspects. We embrace all of ourselves and allow our wounds to heal. And as we let the light flood in to those dark recesses of the soul, we find strength in vulnerability. Finally, we begin to see ourselves as the Divine perfection that we are and let our light shine as a beacon to those still finding their way back to unconditional love.
Though our journeys are our own, we need not struggle alone. We all need support and a little guidance along the way. Whether you seek to connect with your spirit guides or loved ones, or you want to do some healing work in the Akashic Records, I am here to support you. In your Akashic Records, we can examine beliefs and patterns stemming from past lives as well as your present life. Through this work, you will come to know yourself on a deeper level and be empowered to make the changes you desire.
Light and love, Jena